I Don’t Wanna be Alone, But I’m Terrified of You.



There seems to be a flavor of dis-connect that’s higher than the usual which gets me excited because it can only mean its the growing pains of something amazing coming next.

It’s not good for man to be alone. From the beginning we’re made to connect.

To each other. 

It’s a majority of why we’re here on this big beautiful space in the universe called Earth. 

The irony…..is that we’re terrified to “be” with each other.  On the surface it’s cool. Lol, sure we can talk about the weather but push a limit and it’s a wrap…. Man… It’s as though the spirit inside of you wants to know another deeper but the flesh say’s “I’m scared.” You know what I’m talking about? On an intellectual level it’s easy to say yeah..I get it. However the heart say’s “When did it go south?” Hmm.. 

I know I can absolutely relate. 

I’ll be talking to someone I love  or care for deeply and the lover in me wants to flow with energy like that of children in an imaginary under the sea Ariel tea party. The challenger of who I am inhales and freezes like a young deer in headlights when it comes to being vulnerable and speak. I listen 2 times in most cases. Ha! I guess I have the 7 years of being a security officer and being born and raised in my city to thank because I listen twice. Which is admirable in many cases but not so much when there is a significant possibility if I chose not to add that extra layer of security. It’s not automatic for me and I want it to be. We move, touch and inspire another when we are completely ourselves with no loss of power.

What  occurs like a throbbing toothache for me is there is SO much power in connection to another. The effortless question that follows is…Why not? The strength of God Himself comes through it. Through connecting, we transform into a torch with a light as bright as the sun for another to see themselves. On an elevated level, it’s a surreal experience that is filled with a healing power through the art of each person’s being. It’s taking your wonderfully made canvas and sharing it with yourself but through another.

With love,

Candace Kinlaw

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